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Monday, October 21, 2013

Day 21: Captivating Woman - Part 1

One spring I led a discipleship group of young women, all high school seniors. We met each Friday afternoon for a couple of hours. Together we studied various topics important to the young women in the group. Along with the subjects we studied, they learned to develop and present a lesson and to plan and teach at a mini-retreat.

One of the topics we studied was what makes a woman captivating to a man. Our assignment was to ask men (young and older) "Apart from physical appearance, what makes a woman captivating to you?" It was one of the most fascinating exercises I have ever participated in.

Based on our interviews we identified eleven characteristics that make a woman captivating. The first five are described today and the remaining six will be described tomorrow:

1.  Confidence
Self-assured, knows what's important and what's not, sense of balance in life stuff, doesn't overreact, emotional strength, independent, not clingy or consistently fearful; pursuing something with passion; out there where others want to be; able to handle the difficulties of life without being thrown by them.

2. Cares about Others
Not loud or self-centered; doesn't attract attention to herself; gentle; cares about what you do but without being a nag or controlling; not high maintenance (particularly financially); has a caregiver attitude

3. Passion for God
Loves God openly and passionately; willing to openly share her faith; loves and serves God above all else; passionately pursuing God

4. Acts Like a Woman/Comfortable with Her Sexuality
Cares about her appearance (but not consumed by it); she acts and looks like a girl, but isn't a girly-girl; she is modest; gentle; not overly competitive; willing to cuddle, to be affectionate, but not clingy, not constantly on him; not a flirt

5. Growing, which Leads to Mystery and Discovery
The idea that there is more to the person than I can see; or the idea that no matter how well I get to know her she still continues to surprise me; you can't know everything about her in a few meetings; there are always new things to discover about her; she's growing as a person; she's growing emotionally, spiritually, intellectually; breaks a man out of his routine; challenges him to pursue an adventure with her

What causes you to be captivated by another person?

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