If I could Paint a Masterpiece

Many Fridays I join Lisa Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday link up, and this is one of them. Lisa Jo invites us to write unfettered and unedited for 5 minutes, to free what waits within us and then to share it in a safe, encouraging community of friends. If you'd like to join in, visit Lisa Jo's site here. I'm very glad that I did :-)

Today's prompt is PAINT. Ready, set, go . . .

 If I could paint a masterpiece, it would be the same basic scene depicted in four panels. In the background I would place a wooded glen with a rushing stream of water bubbling and foaming as it falls over rocks. The real picture though would be in sharp focus in the foreground, a narrow branch, almost a twig.

In the first panel a caterpillar would be crawling along the narrow branch. A small fuzzy thing. In the second panel a chrysalis would hang from the branch, a womb waiting for new life to appear. Then the third panel would be a tiny head and folded wings just starting to emerge. Finally, in the fourth panel a vividly colored butterfly would be soaring toward the sky . . . free, beautiful, and transformed!

Life goes through stages like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. We are the caterpillar - important, yet in many ways unrecognized. Life circumstances combined with a Father's loving hands, create a chrysalis where through time and His love, we are transformed into something we never dreamed we could become to soar in freedom and beauty . . . fully changed.

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Meditation

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Tonight I am thinking about meditation, specifically meditation on Scripture, as I approach the rhythms that create a space to draw closer to God. 

Many years ago I was challenged by Tim Hansel's book You Gotta Keep Dancin'. Tim tells his story of climbing a glacier, falling in a crevice, crushing several vertebrae in his back, miraculously hiking out, and subsequently living with intense, irreversible, chronic pain. He shares that he chose a verse of the Bible on which he would meditate - think about - until he found the music behind the words.

As a young woman, I decided to give this a try and found it to be very rewarding. I would pick a single verse that seemed to be particularly appropriate to something in my life and then I would ponder it, day after day for a pre-determined period of time. All the while listening for the music behind the words - the deeper meaning, what God was trying to say to me. For a few years I practiced this form of meditation regularly. Now, meditation is one way that I study the Bible in the mix of a variety of methods I use to keep my study fresh and alive.

Last year I meditated on Romans 12:2 for several days. I read it in various translations and then reflected on it in my journal. Here is an excerpt from one of those ponderings:

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world,

but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Then you will know what God wants you to do,

and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

(NLT)

Transform = 1. To change markedly in form or appearance, 2. To change the nature, function, or condition of; convert or be converted.

Conform = 1. To make or become similar. 2. To act or be in agreement; comply. 3. To act in accordance with customs or rules.

Copy = 1. An imitation or reproduction of something original; duplicate.

God calls us to be different from the world around us. He calls us to conform not to the customs and behaviors of this world, but instead to take on the attitude of Christ and to live according to Kingdom principles. We are to be like Christ rather than the world around us.

What does that look like in practicality? The Amish separate themselves in the way they dress, their use of vehicles and electricity. Others avoid jewelry and celebrations. What does this look like for me? What does this look like for women I influence and teach, how do I explain this? Some avoid make-up or modern clothing . . . . I sense that this is more about the inner person that finds expression in outer behaviors than it is about following a rigid set of rules. 

How do you include meditating on Scripture into your daily life? 

What are some things you have learned meditating on the Bible?

Day 30: 31 Days Wrap-up

Dear Reader Friends,
Thank you for joining me on this 31 Day trek through my personal Pivot Points. I have enjoyed your visits and comments through this journey.

For me this has been an excursion through my past, through experiences, lessons, moments of sorrow, and of joy. Over the course of my life, each of these have changed who I am, each have been a step in the journey of transformation. The exciting thing is that the adventure continues. God persists with great patience and love to sand off my rough edges (though, I must confess, sometimes that hurts) and to shape and mold me into what He desires me to be.

I'd like to close this series with a key element of transformation - a renewed mind (changed thinking) through the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

The beginning each step of transformation in my life, has been a change in thinking. God has brought me to a place where I have changed what I think about God, how I think, my value, my boundaries, authenticity, grief, relationships, and emotions.

1. What I think about God. I have learned to trust that God is good. His moral character is pure, righteous, holy. There is nothing in Him that is evil or bad and He cannot do anything that is evil, bad, or wrong. If He were even a tiny bit evil, He would not be trustworthy. However, I can trust a God who is good, even when I don't understand.

2. What I think about how I think. Lies must be replaced with truth, if I am to be able to steer a correct course. What I believe affects what I feel and how I act. Even a slight error in thinking can lead me off-course. Additionally, perspectives are as varied as the people who hold them, but God's perspective is true and right in the whirling cacophony of public opinion. The thoughts I allow to occupy my mind and the perspective I approach them with are equally important.

3. What I think about my value. I am loved . . . even when I don't FEEL it. I am created in God's image and that gives me and every human being inherent value. Knowing that I am a valuable person helps me to approach others with confidence and also with love. Knowing that I am valuable also empowers me to serve God as He made me and not try to be someone else.

4. What I think about my boundaries. Boundaries are important to defining who I am and to maintaining healthy self care. Good boundaries allow me to engage in healthy, satisfying relationships without losing myself in the process.

5. What I think about authenticity. Authenticity doesn't mean that I have to spill my yuck all over others. It means I guard my heart to keep it pure as "the wellspring of life". If my heart is what it should be, my actions will follow.

6. What I think about grief. Grief comes into all of our lives, it is unavoidable. It is painful . . . hard . . . and difficult! But, there is a path through grief and a path that can lead to hope, health, and fullness of life once more. Finding meaning in life again is possible.

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7. What I think about relationships. Relationships are given by God and they are very important to our well-being. The one thing in all of creation that God declared "not good" was Adam's aloneness. We have been designed to live in relationship, yet many times those relationships become unhealthy and damaging. They don't have to stay that way. We don't have to stay in unhealthy relationships and we can learn how to connect with people in fulfilling and healthy ways.

8. What I think about emotions. Emotions are wonderful - they let us know we are alive. Emotions are confusing and sometimes overwhelming. Emotions tell us what is happening in our inner being. Our emotions can be managed and channeled to help us live more fully, to discern our inner spiritual health, and to connect more fully with God.

Over and over God has changed how I think - through experiences; through conversations with people; through great books; through prayer, Scripture and the Holy Spirit. Each change in my thinking has led to a change in how I approach life. The thinking changed, the feelings changed, and eventually the actions changed.

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In the coming days, I hope to expand on these themes and I invite you to join me in this exciting, ongoing adventure of transformation.

What have been keys to transformation in your life? 

Day 29: Changed Thinking

Do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed

by the renewal of your mind,

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,

what is good and acceptable and perfect. 

Romans 12:2 (ESV)

"by the renewal of your mind"

I have come to equate this with "changing the way you think." Changing the way you think may be changing what you think about (content) or it may be changing how you think about certain things (perspective).

Over the years I have had to redirect my thoughts many times. I have a tendency to be critical and negative especially about myself and I have had to become aware of times when my thoughts were leading me in a downward spiral. I learned I could control and change those thoughts and I learned how crucial that is to my emotional and mental well-being.

Thinking about things differently is important. One aspect of this is replacing lies with truth. This is thinking about things in a radically different way. This is identifying beliefs that you hold, perhaps deeply, that are in reality lies, then tearing down those lies and replacing them with truth. Finally turning toward that truth and living in accordance to it.

Another aspect of thinking differently comes from exposure to other perspectives whether through reading, hearing, or conversation and bringing with you an openness to be influenced by new data and input. It requires a willingness to hold one's own perspective loosely and to accept another's point of view with an open, yet evaluating, mind, taking what is good and leaving behind what is not.

Renewing of the mind leads to new ways of behaving and feeling, and is profoundly important to the process of transformation.

What has been the ripple effect of changing the way you think about something?

Day 17: Lies v. Truth

One of my favorite grades to teach was 10th grade. The students had moved beyond the confusion and adjustments of their freshman year, were not in the difficult junior year facing regents and college applications, nor had the dreaded senioritis set it. My tenth grade students tended to be fun, responsive, willing to learn, and beginning to be able to think for themselves.

One of the things we studied during 10th grade Bible class was Romans 12:2 and particularly the idea of "renewing the mind." As I taught my students, I became increasingly aware that one aspect of renewing the mind has to do with replacing lies with the truth.

As we grow and mature, as we experience life we learn some things that are true and we learn some things that are lies. Some things we learn may be from what others teach us either by their words or their example. Some things we learn are based on how we have processed what we have experienced and what we have learned from others. We can learn both lies and truth from any of these sources.

One lie I learned was always defend the underdog, but don't defend yourself. Well, it's a partial truth. It IS good to defend those who cannot defend themselves, those who are weaker for one reason or another. However, there are times it is appropriate to defend ourselves, to take care of ourselves. The lie needed to be replaced with truth.

Why? What difference does it make? Dr. Eric Scalise has identified a pattern that results from false beliefs:

False beliefs lead to

Distorted thinking, which leads to

Damaging emotions, which leads to

Self-defeating behaviors, which leads to

Broken or dysfunctional relationships. 

Our beliefs help to define who we are, how we think, feel, act, and relate to others. When we believe a lie, it has a ripple effect in our lives. 

Rooting out the lies can be something like pulling weeds. It is an ongoing labor that produces greater fruit.

Jesus said, "The truth will set you free."

What lies have you been believing?

What is the truth that will set you free? 

Day 12: Path of Transformation

"And we who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory

are being transformed into His likeness 

with ever-increasing glory,

which comes from the Lord,

who is the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 3:18

When I began to become more aware of the transformation that should be a normal part of a believer's life, I began to ponder what transformation looks like, how it works. I realized first that it is a journey that takes time. As I studied Scripture, read books, and talked with others, a few things began to become clearer about a path to transformation.

1. God is the one doing the work of transformation in us. He knows more fully than anyone our potential and He knows what is blocking our way. He also knows better than anyone what we need so that we can change and grow. Our part of the process is to cooperate with Him, to follow His lead and accept the work of His Spirit in us.

2. Every person's path is different. No two people will take exactly the same journey or travel exactly the same path. Each person will be influenced by different shaping experiences, knowledge, mentors, and spiritual disciplines. God leads each of us along a path that is distinct to us. Even people who are closely connected to each other will have differences in their journeys.

3. People need time, space, AND loving support as they travel their individual journey. At times I've wanted to speed up my own journey, to change more quickly, to grow more quickly. At times there have been others that I wanted to change faster. But we all need time and space to sort through our stuff and to hear God speaking to us in whatever way He chooses and then to make the changes in our lives. 

Yes, transformation takes time . . . it rarely happens overnight . . . but over time . . . 

a cross country trip rather than a day trip.  

What would you add to this list? What have your noticed about the process of transformation?

Day 11: Five Minute Friday and Pivot Points . . . Ordinary

I am participating in Nester's 31 Days Challenge and writing about Transformational Pivot Points in my life. I also like to participate in Lisa Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday. In Five Minute Friday, Lisa Jo gives us a prompt and then we write about it for 5 minutes, and then link up on her page. The biggest rule is to go to the post of the person before you and comment encouragingly on their post.

Well tonight the 31 Day Challenge Transformational Pivot Points will meet Five Minute Friday's prompt and we'll see what comes out. Ready . . . the prompt is ordinary. . .

Ordinary . . . Transformation . . . is there anything ordinary about transformation? In so many ways transformation seems like anything but ordinary. When I think of transformation, I think of metamorphosis, of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly and that seems most extraordinary to me . . . far from ordinary. The miracle that takes place when a plain little caterpillar wraps itself up and then later emerges totally changed into a delicate colorful creature with wings is amazing, extraordinary. When a person is changed from cranky to pleasant, from stingy to generous, from immature to mature, from selfish to unselfish those changes too are miraculous . . . extra-ordinary.

Yet, I think too that transformation should be ordinary in the sense that it is important for it to be an ongoing part of our lives. Changing, growing, learning, becoming something more this year than we were last year. Transformation should be an ordinary part of our lives, happening regularly.

Stop!

Day 9: Listening to God

Listening to God . . . another pivot point that began in the summer of 2000. Our youth pastor was challenged by a special speaker at our church and led the youth and mentors to begin a journey that we dubbed "Listening to God."

The premise was that God desires to speak to us to guide our actions and decisions both big and small, therefore we need to listen so that we are aware of His guidance.

Along the way we wrestled with questions such as:

• How did God communicate to us?
• How do we know if what we're hearing is God or something else?

These two questions are closely related and the answers are interwoven. Here are some of the lessons we learned as we hiked along this journey.

1.  The Bible is our starting point for knowing what God is saying to us. It is His written communication to us where He clearly tells us what to do and what not to do. As we obey what we read in the Bible, we begin to understand what God is like and have a sense of what He wants us to do.

The Bible also acts as a filter. As we think we've heard something from God, we can compare it to what the Bible says to discern whether this thing is of God or from ourselves.

2. As we develop an intimate relationship with God, we become familiar with what His voice sounds like. When I was in college, I was waiting for my parents to arrive to take me home. They were to arrive Sunday morning to attend church with me. I waited as long as I could outside of the campus church, but according to the rules it was time to be in my seat. Still they had not arrived and I was anxious. The auditorium was large with seating for 7,000 people. I searched for my parents, but in a room that size, I could not find them. I had difficulty focusing because my mind was on them, until I heard one small sound. I heard my mom's cough. A cough? really? In a room of several thousand people? Yes. I heard her cough. I knew her. I knew her cough and when I heard it, I knew they had arrived safely and I could focus on the service. Listening to God is like that. The more intimately we know God, the quicker we will be able to distinguish His voice and know what He is saying to us.

3. We will experience confirmation from others who are also seeking to follow God. When we believe that we sense God is telling us to do something, it is good to look for confirmation from others who we respect, who are also seeking God. It is easy to be influenced by our emotions, by our natural tendencies or appetites, and our friends and fellow sojourners can help us see pitfalls that we might not see. They can also confirm a thing is of God as they sense a distinct, yet separate and uninfluenced yearning toward the same thing we are feeling.

4. Prayer is important to the process of listening to God. Prayer is the place we typically think of us talking TO God, however prayer can also be a space where we LISTEN to God - a place where we pause and allow God to speak to our spirit and give us direction.

5. What about the circumstances? Do the circumstances seem impossible and suddenly there is a shift and you are able to do what you've felt God telling you to? that's a confirmation. Do circumstances line up perfectly to allow you to follow what God's telling you? that's a confirmation. Several years ago, I had left my job and was leaving my ministry as a youth leader and I didn't know what was next for me. Over a period of a few months, I had felt compelled to pray for a church with a school that I had only been in once. I called a friend who attended this church to ask him to pray about a difficult situation. He invited me to visit. A couple days before I was to visit, he called and asked if I would be interested in a job teaching at the school . . . well, yes. That was part of my dream when I had quit my job. I filled out an application during my visit and talked with the administrator of the school. Things moved quickly. In less than a month, I had been interviewed and hired and found an apartment. The circumstances lined up perfectly with the thing that I had been sensing God wanted me to do.

Our journey of learning to listen to God was filled with experiments . . . and learning. Often we were not sure if what we heard was God, but obeyed when we were reasonably sure that it was. Sometimes our actions led to confirmation that we had indeed heard God, at other times we miserably decided that the voice we'd heard had been our own. Over time, we grew to recognize God's voice more and more and to develop a deep and intimate relationship with God.

How do you discern what God wants you to do?

********

If you would like to pursue Listening to God more, here are two books that have had a powerful impact on me:
The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby and Claude King

Day 8: Flowing from a Pure Heart

 One of the women on the Belize Team was an English teacher. She brought with her Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God by Rainer Maria Rilke. As she read his poems, she would share them with us, sometimes only a few lines, sometimes a whole poem. A few lines from one of these poems planted the seed for another change in my thinking that grew in the months following our trip to Belize.

I want to free what waits within me

so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear

without my contriving. . . .

May what I do flow from me like a river,

no forcing and no holding back,

the way it is with children.

(from "Ich glaube an Alles noch nie Gesagte" by Rainer Maria Rilke)

In one season of my life, I had tried to appear as if I had everything together. I pushed my emotions down deep and pretended issues that were a problem weren't really a problem. However this approach to life left me feeling driven, lonely, and isolated, unable to be real with anyone.

The next season of my life, I focused on being authentic and genuine. However, in the context where I was learning this approach, being authentic translated into letting all one's yuck and poor behavior spill out all over others. As a teacher and youth mentor this was a formula for disaster, yet I still resonated with the idea that authenticity was important . . . but it shouldn't look like THIS.

The words of Rilke's poem combined with a quote by Amy Carmicheal ("A cup of sweet water, no matter how violently jarred, will never spill bitter water.") lead me into a new season of development - Flowing from a Pure Heart. Authenticity is important and so is not spilling one's own yuck all over others. To be authentic and appropriate required a transformation of the heart.

 I read a story once (although I don't remember where) of a small village in the Alps known for its crystal clear, delicious water. High up on the mountain was the spring, tended by an elderly man, that fed the village's water supply. The aged man kept it clean of debris and guarded it faithfully from anything that would contaminate the water. Eventually he died and there was no one to tend the spring, to guard against debris and over time the water became contaminated and unfit to drink.

This story captures the idea of flowing from a pure heart. A pure heart is one that is guarded against those things that would contaminate it. Beautiful, life-giving authenticity can flow from a heart that is filled with integrity and kept through self-control and the on-going work of God to transform and shape it. Transforming, growing, and guarding the heart are an ongoing process that requires cooperation between us and the Spirit of God in us.

For me, I have good days and bad. There are days where I can look back and say I lived the majority of this day with a heart that was well-guarded and exercising integrity and self-control. There are other days where I fail miserably and I have to clean out the spring again so that the water can run cool and clear. It is a process, a journey of becoming . . .

Do you resonate with Rilke's words? What about them strikes you?

Day 6: Surrender

The summer of 2000 began a journey of explosive inner transformation in my life. This period was marked by changes in my thoughts. Lies I had believed were replaced with truth and specific themes that altered my perspective and how I lived emerged.

After the school year ended and I began summer break, I was sick in bed for about a week. During that week of bed rest I read and journaled. I became aware that ever since the "rug had been pulled out" and I had experienced a series of unfortunate events over a decade earlier, I had been living with a self-protective stance. My decisions and my interactions with people were guided by a core promise to myself never to let people "treat me so badly" again. This soul level promise was in conflict with the promise I had made to God years earlier to serve Him with my life. As I tried to keep both promises, I experienced inner conflict.

As I lay on my bed, I wrote a prayer of surrender to God. I acknowledged that I was unable to protect myself and that running my life in an effort to do so was not working. I surrendered myself to God's ability to care for me (He is so much more capable than I!) and I asked Him to teach me how to live as He desired rather than trying to protect myself.

That prayer opened a door to many marvelous transformative steps in my life. The first ones came out of a trip to Belize that summer. I'll talk more about that tomorrow.

I would love to hear your stories of transformational pivot points!

Day 1: His Eyes

When I saw the pain in his eyes, I repented and prayed to change.

I was in my early teens and waiting at our local public school for my ride to the Christian school I attended in a nearby city. Several of us waited each morning and often our public school friends would come to visit us.

On this particular morning, one of my friends, a young man on whom I'd had a crush since I was 5, had come to visit. I had been peeved with him over a now unremembered offense and had given him the cold shoulder. When he came to me to ask what was wrong, I looked into his big, vivid blue eyes and I saw hurt, deep hurt. His eyes haunted me throughout that day.

That evening alone in my bedroom I realized that I had hurt more than this boy I admired. He was one of God's children and when I hurt one of God's children, I hurt God too.

God . . . my heavenly Father, the Creator of the universe, who had given me the right to call him Papa. Jesus who was beaten, mocked, and crucified because of my sin . . . my sin. I had hurt a brother in Christ, deliberately, out of my own pettiness. Christ had died for this sin . . . even this, what would seem to be, small sin in the grand scheme of sins.

Superimposed over the hurt in this boy's eyes, I saw the hurt in Jesus' eyes when I sin, when I do wrong, when I hurt another person.

My heart broke as I understood the depth of my sin and what my sin had done to the Jesus I love. I begged God to never allow me to hurt Him like that again. I walked in the knowledge of the weight of my sin (big or small) after that. I knew of God's forgiveness, although it would be years before I grasped the wonderful immensity of God's forgiveness, grace, and love toward me that could completely cover every one of my sins.

31 Days Transformational Pivot Points

Welcome!! Thank you for dropping in to see what's happening during my 31 Days of Pivot Points. Here's a quick summary of what you'll find.

Throughout my life I have had "Pivot Points," times when an event or a lesson has transformed my thinking and my behavior. For the 31 Days of October I will be sharing these Transformational Pivot Points here at Emerging Butterflies.

Nester is the inspiration behind this endeavor and I am linking up with others through her website to share our 31 Days musings. Be sure to check out others there too. If you're participating in the 31 Days, please leave the URL to your first 31 Days post so that others can drop by and visit you too.

Grab a cup of coffee or a mug of hot chocolate on these cool Fall days and read along as I share how God has transformed me little bit by little bit . . . from what I was to what I am becoming in Him.

A link to each day's posts will be added below:

Day 1: His Eyes
Day 2: Going for the Gold
Day 3: Oops! Where Did the Rug Go?
Day 4: Why? The Question
Day 5: Why? An Answer
Day 6: Surrender
Day 7: Simplicity and Substance
Day 8: Flowing from a Pure Heart
Day 9: Listening to God
Day 10: Blessing by Being
Day 11: Five Minute Friday and Pivot Points . . . Ordinary
Day 12: Path of Transformation
Day 13: Level of Commitment
Day 14: Invincible Faith
Day 15: Working Together for Good
Day 16: Grieving the Loss
Day 17: Lies v. Truth
Day 18: Five Minute Friday Meets Pivot Points - Laundry
Day 19: I Am Loved
Day 20: What to do with Emotions
Day 21: Captivating Woman - Part 1
Day 22: Captivating Woman - Part 2
Day 23: Neither Offend or Be Offended
Day 24: Created in God's Image
Day 25: Five Minute Friday and Pivot Points: Together
Day 26: Bubbles and Boundaries
Day 27: Accept Another's Essence
Day 28: Dependent on God and Connected to People
Day 29: Changed Thinking
Day 30: Pruning
Day 31: 31 Days Wrap-up

Metamorphosis

A caterpillar enters the chrysalis and an amazing transformation takes place. A caterpillar enters and a butterfly emerges. Sometimes someone is tempted to speed up the process, to release the butterfly from its chrysalis without allowing it to struggle. When this happens, the butterfly dies. The butterfly needs the struggle to grow strong.

The last four and a half months have been a time of struggle. The central figures in my support system have been stripped away. Chaos, change, and loss have come in wave after wave.

The story of the metamorphosis of the caterpillar to butterfly comforts me. I am reminded that God can bring beauty out of ugliness and pain. I am reminded that sometimes the struggle is crucial to our transformation. As we wrestle to navigate through paths that are unfamiliar and sometimes treacherous, God is at work. He is taking things that the enemy of our soul intends for evil and He is producing good. He is taking what is ugly and destructive and He is transforming it into good. The Lover of our soul is at work to produce fruit, beauty, growth, and strength in the midst of the struggle.

Yet, God does not do this work in a vacuum, He asks for our cooperation. He asks us to obey, to seek Him, to follow His lead. As we surrender ourselves to Him, as we do what He asks of us, as we seek and understand His purposes and cooperate with Him, He transforms us. He changes us not from caterpillars to butterflies, but from humans living in the flesh to His children who are more and more like Christ. Often the good that God is producing is not perfect circumstances, blessings of wealth, or even an easy road, the good that God is producing is the life of the Spirit in us . . . life that is truly life.

And we know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)