Day 30: 31 Days Wrap-up

Dear Reader Friends,
Thank you for joining me on this 31 Day trek through my personal Pivot Points. I have enjoyed your visits and comments through this journey.

For me this has been an excursion through my past, through experiences, lessons, moments of sorrow, and of joy. Over the course of my life, each of these have changed who I am, each have been a step in the journey of transformation. The exciting thing is that the adventure continues. God persists with great patience and love to sand off my rough edges (though, I must confess, sometimes that hurts) and to shape and mold me into what He desires me to be.

I'd like to close this series with a key element of transformation - a renewed mind (changed thinking) through the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

The beginning each step of transformation in my life, has been a change in thinking. God has brought me to a place where I have changed what I think about God, how I think, my value, my boundaries, authenticity, grief, relationships, and emotions.

1. What I think about God. I have learned to trust that God is good. His moral character is pure, righteous, holy. There is nothing in Him that is evil or bad and He cannot do anything that is evil, bad, or wrong. If He were even a tiny bit evil, He would not be trustworthy. However, I can trust a God who is good, even when I don't understand.

2. What I think about how I think. Lies must be replaced with truth, if I am to be able to steer a correct course. What I believe affects what I feel and how I act. Even a slight error in thinking can lead me off-course. Additionally, perspectives are as varied as the people who hold them, but God's perspective is true and right in the whirling cacophony of public opinion. The thoughts I allow to occupy my mind and the perspective I approach them with are equally important.

3. What I think about my value. I am loved . . . even when I don't FEEL it. I am created in God's image and that gives me and every human being inherent value. Knowing that I am a valuable person helps me to approach others with confidence and also with love. Knowing that I am valuable also empowers me to serve God as He made me and not try to be someone else.

4. What I think about my boundaries. Boundaries are important to defining who I am and to maintaining healthy self care. Good boundaries allow me to engage in healthy, satisfying relationships without losing myself in the process.

5. What I think about authenticity. Authenticity doesn't mean that I have to spill my yuck all over others. It means I guard my heart to keep it pure as "the wellspring of life". If my heart is what it should be, my actions will follow.

6. What I think about grief. Grief comes into all of our lives, it is unavoidable. It is painful . . . hard . . . and difficult! But, there is a path through grief and a path that can lead to hope, health, and fullness of life once more. Finding meaning in life again is possible.

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7. What I think about relationships. Relationships are given by God and they are very important to our well-being. The one thing in all of creation that God declared "not good" was Adam's aloneness. We have been designed to live in relationship, yet many times those relationships become unhealthy and damaging. They don't have to stay that way. We don't have to stay in unhealthy relationships and we can learn how to connect with people in fulfilling and healthy ways.

8. What I think about emotions. Emotions are wonderful - they let us know we are alive. Emotions are confusing and sometimes overwhelming. Emotions tell us what is happening in our inner being. Our emotions can be managed and channeled to help us live more fully, to discern our inner spiritual health, and to connect more fully with God.

Over and over God has changed how I think - through experiences; through conversations with people; through great books; through prayer, Scripture and the Holy Spirit. Each change in my thinking has led to a change in how I approach life. The thinking changed, the feelings changed, and eventually the actions changed.

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In the coming days, I hope to expand on these themes and I invite you to join me in this exciting, ongoing adventure of transformation.

What have been keys to transformation in your life? 

Day 24: Created in God's Image

Genesis 1:26-27 states that human beings were created in the image of God. An image is a likeness that closely resembles and represents another. Human beings have the unique distinction in all of creation of having been made to be like God, to share some of His characteristics. This gives men and women value that is not shared by any other living creature. A proper understanding of this truth affects how we see ourselves.

Psychologists have identified three basic needs that all humans have: security (the need for safety), significance (the need for meaning), and belonging (the need for community). Understanding that we are made in God's image meets these needs at a core level. We are secure because we have value as an image-bearer, despite other’s opinions or our own failures. It is not something we have to earn. We have significance because we represent the God of the universe. Helping others see what God is like gives us meaning that having a job or not having a job, having a significant other or not having one, and whether we are beautiful or not so much cannot alter. We belong to God as His image-bearer and we are connected to the whole of humanity as fellow image-bearers. We belong. 

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Knowing that we are secure, have meaning, and that we belong, gives confidence and helps us to overcome many of the doubts and insecurities common to the human experience. This confidence is particularly important for those who struggle with poor self-image. Understanding that we are made in God’s image infuses a person with value that does not depend at all on our circumstances, relationships, or accomplishments. Instead our value is God-give and inherent within us. Something that cannot be taken away.

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory and Other Essays

For a deeper understanding of this theological concept, see "Man - Made in the Image of God."

Day 22: Captivating Woman - Part 2

Yesterday, I listed the first five characteristics that my discipleship group and I discovered by surveying men with the question, "Apart from physical appearance, what causes a woman to be captivating to you?" Each man's answer was different and unique, shaped by his own tastes.

The list is a compilation of all their answers and no one woman should seek to be all things on this list. Instead, let us enjoy who we are allow that to draw others to us.





Part 2:

6. True to Herself:
Consistent (not two-faced); unique; not like everyone else; not trying to look and act like all the other girls; comfortable with who she is

7. Enjoys Life:
Sense of humor (not just that she can tell a joke, but that she is comfortable enough to laugh and enjoy the funny things of life); passionate (really believes in something with all her heart); able to play along with jokes; able to joke around; has purpose, a sense of where she's going in life; has a sense of adventure; willing to take risks

8. Good Conversationalist:
Knows when to talk and when not to; listens well; able to speak her mind without being defensive or attacking and without putting others down; not afraid to fight or enter a battle of wits; able to have deep conversations about the stuff of life

9. Good Companion:
Someone who he feels comfortable with; he can be himself and be accepted; someone who's willing to do stuff he enjoys; who's interested in what he enjoys; who's willing to take a walk in the rain and not worry about her hair

10. Loyalty and Faithfulness:
Stand with you through think and thin; NOT A FLIRT; doesn't cheat on you

11. Oneness
The idea of being one not just physically, but emotionally as well; an indefinable link or connection; a sense of oneness; a sense of completion; more than a feeling; whenever you're together there's a sense of being home, of belonging, of completion (this is not planned, not contrived, it's either there or it's not; it just happens)

Since this is a month of Pivot Points in my life, I feel compelled to explain why this list was important.

I talked to men in their teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s, both single and married. I was fascinated and stunned by their answers, because they did not fit into my preconceived ideas of what attracted men to women. I remember one man I talked to said, "Just the fact that you are a woman makes you captivating." Wow!!! For real?

You see, I had enjoyed friendships with men since my teens. I had enjoyed interacting with men, talking with them, being with them. Yet, somehow the romance piece never fell into place for me. That did nothing to affirm my femininity in fact it undermined my confidence as a woman. Talking to these men, hearing what fascinated them, the things that attracted them to women, the things that made a woman captivating, was so affirming. Some of them were captivated by one thing, another by something different. They were not looking for perfect women or airbrushed models, but real women who they found fascinating in their own way. I walked away from these conversations with a deep respect and appreciation for these men and with profound affirmation of my value as a woman.