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Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Time to Catch Up

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Dear Readers,
Hi there! Well, it's been five months today since I last posted and many things have changed. In the coming weeks, I'll reflect on the deeper meaning of some of those changes, but tonight I'll catch you up on the big stuff.

Over the last several years as a family we've watched my mother's confusion grow and her ability to live on her own and care for herself diminish. Gradually, step by step, we've put measures into place to ensure her safety and well-being. Last year it became apparent that something more was needed. My sister, her primary caregiver, was burning out. I was traveling regularly to relieve her and to care for my mom and I was getting burned out. Something had to change if we were to sustain her well-being as well as our own.

After a great deal of prayer (my own as well as from family and friends), I accepted a new job which would allow me to move in with my mom and become one of three primary caregivers. I started my new position on October 5th and moved my belongings into my mom's house on October 10th. From the time I accepted the position in mid September until a couple of weeks ago when the holiday season came to a close, I felt as if I was living in a rapidly spinning whirlwind trying to make it from one day to the next. Now, four months into this life-turned-upside-down mode, I am beginning to establish new rhythms from day to day and week to week.

I have missed you, my readers. I have thought of you and longed for space to write again. As we forge ahead into 2016, I look forward to exploring some of the great themes of life: change, endings, grief, identity, ministry, pursuing dreams, and grace.

Looking forward to walking through this year with you. May you have a blessed and healthy 2016!!!
Dar

Thursday, June 11, 2015

A Trusting Heart

          ”Jump!  I’ll catch you.”
          The smell of sawdust and freshly cut lumber permeated the air. Mooing of cows provided a background symphony. My father and brother were building an addition onto our barn.  I was sitting on the edge of the hayloft, my eyes wide, and stubborn in my fright.
          Below me stood my brother arms outstretched ready to catch me. He is 14 years older than I am, and by this time he was a strong young man and fully able to catch me and put me safely on the ground.  I was afraid. I sat on the edge for several minutes.  He tried to coax me into his arms, I thought about it; I started to jump and then pulled back. I thought about it some more.  He was so sure, but I wasn’t.  What if he missed?  What if I knocked him over? What if . . . ? It was just too risky.
          I never did jump. Somehow we found a way for me to climb down which took much longer, I’m sure, but it was “safe.” 
          God says the same thing to us sometimes, “Jump! I’ll catch you!” He is big enough and strong enough and wise enough to call all the shots, and yet sometimes we don’t trust.  We wonder if God is really big enough, if He will really keep if promises. Bad things happen after all and God does allow them, what if . . .?
          Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (nicknamed Rack, Shack, and Benny by Veggie Tale lovers) were up against a situation that required them to JUMP! King Nebuchadnezzar built a statue 90 feet high and decreed that everyone had to bow down to it. Rack, Shack, and Benny couldn’t. They were good Jewish boys who loved God and wanted to obey Him. Yaweh's law said that they could bow to no one save Him. They refused to bow to Nebuchadnezzar. 
          King Nebuchadnezzar was not a nice man. In the past when he was displeased with people he had chopped them up into little pieces and made their houses into dung piles. Going up against this man doesn’t sound particularly appealing. Why not just bow down? They could bow on the outside and make it look good, but keep worshiping God at home, right? No, they needed to obey God. God said, “Don’t worship any image.” 
          Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t bow down and others noticed and reported them to the King. He was angry, in fact the Bible says he was “furious with rage” and ordered them to be thrown into a fiery furnace that had been heated seven times hotter than usual. I love Rack, Shack, and Benny’s response, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:16-18).
          The King had them thrown in. The soldiers who threw them in were killed from the heat. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the furnace and later they emerged from the fire. Alive. The Bible says, “They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them”  (Daniel 3:27).
          Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego obeyed God. They jumped when God said to and He caught them.
          In the distance you could hear the sound of waves, an ocean breeze hit our faces, the sun was hot overhead, and the screech of seagulls filled the air. Anna and I were at the playground at Harvey Cedars and her toy camera had stopped working.  She asked me to fix it.  Secretly I wasn’t sure I could, but hoped I wouldn’t disappoint this little 2 ½ year-old little blonde angel. I started to take the camera, but she held on. I said, “Anna, you’ll have to let go and let me take it if you want me to fix it.” Immediately she let go, and thankfully I was able to fix it. 
          I didn’t trust my brother to catch me. I looked for my own way out of my predicament, but I’ve always wished I’d trusted him instead. Rack, Shack, and Benny trusted God. Anna trusted me. 
          Job goes through loss and heartache and stress that we can only begin to imagine.  In the end God says, “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?  Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me” (Job 38:2-3 NIV).  Then God proceeds to remind Job through a series of questions of just who He is.  He reminds Job of His power, His wisdom, His care of His creation, of His faithfulness, and His constancy. In the end, Job recognizes the sovereignty of God. He acknowledges God’s right to call all the shots. 
          Trust . . . are you willing to trust God? Are you willing to take the hard and difficult things of your life to God and place them in His hands? How easily we define God by how our circumstances look rather than look at the truth of who God is and seek to understand our circumstances from His perspective. 
          Are you willing to trust God with all of the stuff of your life – big and little, painful and easy? God doesn’t fix our lives until we place all the “stuff” that troubles us in His hands.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Day 2: Going for the Gold

"What will you make of your life?

This question was posed to me by one of my professors while I was in college. I often engaged in lengthy conversations with this mentor where he posed difficult life questions to me. In the spring of 1985, he challenged me to think about where my life was headed and how I would live.

Although my life has not followed the path I thought it would then, a vow I made at that time has been a guiding factor, an anchor over the course of my life.

Classes were over, finals were nearly complete and that year's graduation exercises were rapidly approaching. One warm spring day I made my way to a quiet spot in a large, old cemetery on the banks of the Susquehanna River. There I wrestled with God about what He wanted for me. I read verses from my Bible about the solemnity of making a vow to God. I prayed. I journaled. Eventually a vow emerged, a vow to serve God all my life long.

At that time I imagined I would take the good news of Jesus to some foreign country, but instead my life took a different path. My journey led me to teach in my own country, to work in a church first with youth and later with adults. Through bumps and bruises, through times of great satisfaction and times of doubt my heart has led me back over and over to this anchor, this call, this vow that when all is said and done I want God to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." My service has not been perfect. I am an average woman seeking to please God with her life and I fail and falter. Yet, this promise to God and His Spirit in my life cause me to get back up each time I falter, to try again.

Currently, I find myself in a season of change and transition. The path I thought I would take turned a bend and all was different. I am looking forward to what the next season will hold, some days with anticipation, some days with fear. I wonder where serving Christ will take me next, but I am thankful that in a world of change one piece of the puzzle remains solid - my purpose in life is to serve my Savior.

Have you ever made a vow or a decision that has had a life shaping effect on you? 
I'd love to hear about it.